Tuesday, December 28, 2010

back time

I am coming back!

But, now i got to go back again...Thought i can stay at hometown after i resigned,somehow life is unpredestined, it is not under my control.

Previous job make me lead a very stress and unhappy working life, i am eagerly wanna run off that kind of life on that moment. Now i did it, i back to the life i wish to have when i still working,but i start to get bored with it. Thus, while i standing outside and watching up the sky,i start to refresh back my busy and pressure working life,suddenly i feel so relax and know how to cherish my current days, i take it as a holiday for me, not every time i will have this kind of privilege one,haa..

Well,maybe soon i will back to kl to help out bro for his works,again, i got back to the working days, it is good but i realised i am hard to leave here...I hope can settle down also instead of keep moving around.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

There is too much to voice up here since i have long time din update and get chance to 'speak out'.Well,where should i start...

Today have a great time with my senior for lunch,she shared a lot her past experience to me,maybe she heard also i gotta to leave.By the way,today only i know what i have been go through actually just a very small case for her as she really been through a hardship period,how colleague and boss treated her,but she strive hard to prove she has the ability to perform perfectly,now she did and boss treat her in another round,so realistic in working society!

It stood me for a while and interupted my decision,thus i still insisting on as i know this is not the job i want,it deprived my joy and my spirit in me..Now,maybe i should trying to apply the GSTT here rather than waiting back hometown and can't get the job there..I really urgent to have money due to my saving plan payable amount still lack for more,somehow next month i need to pay off already...awww,first time feel i am so poor in financial=(

In addition,today just realised i lost my VERYIMPORTANT document--Indentity Card!!and it lost since last friday i think,but hw come i din noticed earlier,damn!

Anyway,tomorrow still got a lot thing to do in office,everyday must have something to do and pending,hate it!Ahhhhhhhhhhh.........

I start to feel like i just like a robot or 'plastic woman',no much feeling in my life,just stress and work things...no other...that is terrible...pity a lot of people have became like this already...speechless

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sunday, August 1, 2010

stop!

I think i already reached the bottom of my limit to 'tahan'...So miserable for me now,one thing can make me happy in my life is quit from my current job!It is really been stressed for me in this work field,no matter how strong and eagerness for me to learn the new thing here but it all can't overcoming my limitation to hanging on anymore,i have make up my mind,i want to resign...i want to free myself,learning is good but seem i can't live my life with happiness then what the point for me to insist on?In addition,the more i stay here the more i feel i myself so unvaluable and more low self esteem,all the confident have gone...is this all i want from the purpose at first i came here?NO!
So contradict,before when be teacher i went to go crazy for unfruitful life there,but now that kind of life make me miss much and envy much!no stress and can go have fun anytime!no need to worry my expenses as well...
Wonder whether my family will support my decision?But i really want to resign...
Life is so shorter,how come i wanna torturing and forcing myself live under such life which i don't like it!Why?Thought learning is good but why under this kind of environment?yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???

Friday, July 30, 2010

==:

Staying in other's house is very 'xin ku',if let me to choose i rather to stay wf my fren instead of with my family members.
Maybe my lifestyle is different with you caused you unhappy,but if i got the choice i will not come to here,honestly to say..one thing is i really troubled you all already,sorry about it..
Everything stress me up,from staying place,home people,working place,colleagues,boss,figure,custormer...everything coming together,how to continue on the life?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Late yet luckier

It is sad to say,now only i realised i am too late to step into this so called 'real' society to explore..
Throughout this two weeks training,i get to see a lot of my fellow colleagues whose same age with me are pretty mature and experienced enough in knowlegde,spiritual,personalise and what i can say is almost in every areas.Honestly it was a shame for me for still being ignorant=( Their mature and steady skills in selling,presentation was enough to terrify me with this wonderful plus perfect handling methods!Gosh,I am totally under compared with them.
I am so small among them,obviously can see through.Whereby 1 thing i can comforting myself is luckily i still get chance to walk in and joining in the midst of it..

Friday, June 25, 2010

end of the 3rd week in kl

First day staying in my cousin's house...so weird feeling here

The time i finish exam in office,i should be happy one as stress has been released.Yet,i am not as excited as i think. Tear kept dropping down in the moment i sat in the car because i felt 'homeless' indeed. How much i wish can back to bro's house but once i know it is inconvenience for them,then i have no choice.I sobbing while driving as i really don't know where i should heading to...Hence i delayed the time to back cousin's house and just find somewhere else i can go to although i pretty tired..Eventually i manage to arrive cousin's house by nine something.

Working outside alone here is pressuring, it totally out of my estimation. A lot of uneasy feeling you will experience here,it sure very hurt but you can't be beaten down as well,so hanging on and persistence is the only choice you can make. Frankly say i couldn't remember how many days in here i use to cry before i fall asleep. Sadness keep grabbing my heart,while i think of my situation and what had i face on,again,my tear will never ended.But in my mind i only know for one word is 'hanging on'..I told myself so.

People is the crucial key for me whether feel comfortable and vice verse. Although i have closer blood brother here yet i am unwelcome and unconcerned by them. Everyone are busy with their own 'business',you are you then i am i,pretty sad with this..

Anyhow,God is my good friend,i told him everything when i weeping in my blanket every night,he is my good listener.Thanks for my dear and mum,at least i still can sense the caring which i pretty needed much at this moment,it give me loads of comfort..Due to it,i will be strong no matter how difficult i will facing onwards.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

training day=(

Today went through whole full day training,more in talking skill and sale technic.We learn about the way in promoting the housing loan and saving plan inssurance,and we do more in role play.

Sad to be say i din't did well in my role play,nearly want to give up already...how much i wish i can get back to my hometown now.

It is not easy to survive in banking life,as they say once u want to be here,you need to be more aggressive!Yet,i don't think i can be like this,that's why i found myself in suffering now.

Some more there have not enough space for me to be independent,how could i be learn more and fast?don't even say to have cross sale!

I done everything poor here,i have not confidence at all,want to give up!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Sat night..

Seem long haven't get to write something here due to my busy time....awww..

Having my new job for one week already,it is the tough job for me as i never involved in any banking or financial field.Everything i need start learn from the very first level.Sometimes i will ask my senior about some so call stupid question until they find it very funny or showing their inpatient,yet i still get my thicker face to keep asking and asking...Well,all i can say is it really very tough for me.

I and another colleague join in the same time,but i am the one who left behind,i keep chasing and chasing,meditating all the term and details by searching net in night time,some more i still left behind.In additions,the opportunities is the other channel for me to learn fast somehow i am the unluckier.When the head coming and asking what we learn in the end of the day,stress coming as well as the others really learn a lot under the comparing with me.What should i react at that moment is to be steady although i pretty worry.

According to the knowledges,learning effectiveness,chances,i am the one who left behind...stress stress!

Although everything seem not going smoothly for me,look in the other views i quite satisfied with my fruitful days,tough but i did learn something.When get the different treating from other towards me,it did very hurt but i still hanging on as i know i will get success one day.I hate people looking down on me actually...Just want to let those people know,don't ever looked down on me!i will learn from the basic..I have a BIG God with me too!

Everytime i get hurt and pressure,i will cry out as long as i want,then wipe it off,everything will turn fine then.Life should be like this,never beating down by the problems or hardwork,instead of overcome it by succeed it,then you will be more strong and higher up.

I wish to be a successful woman although i know my personality couldn't qualified for it,hence most of the time i feel like 'xin you yu er li bu zu'.What will be my future,i can't figure it out and see from now,but believe if i persisting and persevere onwards,surely the goal of mine will left no far.

Lastly,sorry dear for i am far with u now and keep focusing in my hard work now.Don't know what i should say also..sorry when the time u talk with me actually i am tired beat so i show no mood to continue on,sorry for i used to have comparison with others as well..

pls: Knowing my fren in cameran highland having the starbuck 'greentea coffee",i am SUPER envy!!!have a little bit complaint flashing in my mind for why i still doing the torturing work here..

Make a cup of blended milo drink,it tastes nice=)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

in cousin's wedding



soooooooo uGLy!

big MOUTH monster is here!!!lol

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Here is my working place---KL

see her BIG MOUTH!!!lol







Today have took a walk with Sophia at downstair the swimming pool there,caught a few pic with her as well,what a naughty Sophia keeps act some ''ugly'' face,see~~~~=p

Another two pic was taking when i first time taking LRT by my own to a unfamiliar place--my working Menara EON bank.(BTW,next monday mae me worry much as i need travel to a few places in KL,but the most challenging thing is i don''t know the road here,maybe force to take taxi le...)=( awww,taxi..dangerous!God be with me pls~~

Monday, May 24, 2010

想你的这一刻

返朔思想了几回,突然好想你...

有时,我真的好恨自己没法完成你心里最渴望的事情;
每每想起你那落单的身影,心里即痛又心疼...

有时,心里即亏欠又后悔,
想起你对我的好与疼爱;泪水像决了提的坝...

有时,自己却是那么残忍对待你,
想起你常以表面上的微笑掩盖了自心心底的挂滤,不安及渴望;
我又怎能无动于衷呢?

心中不停反复思想着,为何总无法完成你所想要的,
在另一方面,取而代之的却是你的不断付出与牺牲...

对不起,我好像攘你辛苦了...
至今我像是什么都无法为你实现...

但,可以相信我吗?
我真的很想攘你开心,快乐...
也只有这样我就足够了...


*想起离别在即,鼻头一酸,
我是舍不得你的.... ....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Keep it up,gal...

Last week for me here...

Going to jump into the 'fire' to mould myself...People found weird how could i voluntary to jump into it since i know it is 'fire'?weird hor....but life should goes more for moulding,then only will growing healthily and maturity,am i right?

But,before it,i need to equip myself and get prepare well myself to take up the real challenge!(Although get heart prepared but still worry much,awww....) =(

The friends around me kept telling me this job very stress and challenging,it ruins the confident in me indeed..haizzz..But i still need to try it,as God let me know,HOPE keeps it going....

Jia you Jia you!Go and try the hardest job to experience it,then only i can know the level i am,the real world,the real people relationship...and to see how much the perseverance i have,lol.(hope can work over 3 months=p)

gambatteh neh!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

MONDAY (Part 2)

the twin boy in my class,Jing Han and Jing Xuan.
with my lovely and smart class 2M students,miss u all...
presents from all my lovely pupils in teacher's day=D
nice work!
my CUTEST bro,lol
with my mum in japanese restaurant to celebrate her birthday=)like it much!hope u r happy mum...=)
happy birthday mama!!=D
dad and mum,sweetest couple=p
ohhhhh!!!my NEW car coming,JME 3217! V.I.V.A
the first moment i get the new car at perodua=p

Conclusion-------A happy Monday!=D

Saturday, May 15, 2010

MONDAY

Coming monday...

is teacher's day in school,
is mum's birthday,
is the day i become car owner,
is first time i get celebrate with school's friends in sing-k(if i got join),

It seems like a memorial day for this year,it is important as well.

Hence,i force to postpone my schedule again...

Hope i shall enjoy and enjoy in this coming monday,hurray!!=D

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

~my collections~


















Dear~like your phone's camera muchhh,it is CLEAR!!=D

Saturday, May 8, 2010

For now...

These few weeks keep busying with tonnes of stuff,what am i busy with actually huh?

Busy must coming with worries then stress...I think this is what i have spend through in this few weeks.

Thought can be settle my medical check up today,who knows end up with nothing plus with more troublesome...

Problems are queuing for me to settle one by one,i hope can be settle faster all,how come all this thing keep delaying me.Thus,haven't finish settle one then following another new stuff.Awwww!!!Flare up really!!

But,i gain to learn new thing too in my life that i never go through,i dare say...

p/s: anyway i am truly appreciated for ur time today for willing to give me your
precious time to fetching me there..load of thanks!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

worries---stress??

Feel like to cry..Am i have a lot of pressure recently?But how come i didn't have any feel of stress,am i numb of it already huh??

Mum went to hospital this morning in Malacca,never know she is so serious until totally can't walk by her own.Listen to her voice just know,it was a voice which full of tired and grieved,heartache when heard it...You will get well mum,don't worry..

Sit alone at downstair while watching tv,so emptiness,lonely and helpless feeling.A lot of worries stricken me in sudden,all i can do is i need to depend on myself and settle it by my own.Tear came out in same time,wipe it off and everything will be alright!I told myself this...

Can't resist on the loneliness,hence i come up to my room,at least it will be better for the bigger living room in downstair...

When it stripped away,everything will be fine...

Monday, May 3, 2010

咳!

不知为何近日总有孤军作战的感觉...尽管自己拥有的与他人一样多,但能帮上却少之又少,甚至无...叹哉叹哉!

试问那我拥有这些又有何益处呢?

Friday, April 30, 2010

birthday











Dear,just found out the flower you present to me on my birthday get decay,really heart pain to throw some of it as it has worm inside...=(

Luckily i have take the picture down...plus my birthday pic,thx dear for everything u have prepared for me=)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

worry and worry:(

My leaving day getting nearest...

OMGoodness!I begin to worry much for my future working day since i haven't start my job there.All my mind keep worried how will it going for my work performance,colleagues,working environment,my learning ability,company target...and my life there at Klang like my social life,spiritual life..will i be bore much and full of emptiness after i go there?how about if i got a lot of pressure in work?could i overcome it?bla bla bla bla... .... there is a lot a lot of stuff keep worrying me recently!

Furthermore,i haven't counld't finding my staying place and my main transport,transport make me worry much...God,please provide for me Lord!

I seem have give a lot of pressure to myself before i going there,should take it easy man!

Lord,i cry for your help!!NOT extra worries!!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

miss...

June i got to go away far from my sweet home to a unfamiliar place..If u ask me what feeling i have,well,i can tell you now the time haven't come yet,so i din't have much feeling for this moment.But i believe once the leaving time come nearest,a lot of unbearing,sadness,worries will overwhelming my heart!

Luckily i have my bro my church's friends whose always ready to help me in there,it lesser my worries..

But at here,i miss everything,every person here,sure will very hard for me to leave,because in last week when i took bus to kl for hunting job,i cried sadly once i sitted on the bus uncontrolling,kept crying because unbearing.So i really couldn't imagine how i will react the time i truly wanna to leave here for long....

My Dear,my mum and dad,i will miss u all much for SURE!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Problems

A lot of things wish to voice up,it hidden inside me n frustrated me,but i hard to bring it out..

Why recently i am circumvented with tonnes of harassed things?I am thinking is that all of it was craeted by me?Or as you said i can't walk out frm my current state?Or i still haven't get adapting with it?

Once i think further of it,i realised i will not pointing the finger to myself anymore instead of a loads of complaints to others will yielding increasingly.It is not good i know,but it did smoother my heart and cast away my sadness and frustrating.Maybe in my heart i have guilty,so when i transfered the problem root to others will 'purified' me in my wrongdoing,it makes me feel ease rather than blaming my own.Pathetic for those who are the others=X

Haiz...Let nature take its course!What will be my next step?Beat me,i am exhausted in meditating all this things...Draw a deeeeeeeep breath,let's all the problems exhale in the air...

No matter how,life still goes on...Let's keep it up!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Facial treatment

Girl needs to treat youself better!So i went to have my facial treatment today,but ouch!so pain....

When i step in,she wants me to lying down on a somfortable bed.She helps me to do difference kind of facial spa afterward,feel nice.Buta while later she begin help to clean my blackhead on my face,wow!All i can say is,it is PAIN!!Face has came out a lot of red dots too after she finished..=( hope tomorrow all the red dots will be diminish..

Anyway,nice experience today,next month i will go again,but first of all,i need to save money for it,as it was not cheaper...=x

Sunday, April 4, 2010

错误...

原来我回来是个非常错误的决定!

回想当初,我并没寻求神的指示就选择了自己的道路,一旦经历了,就深深体会不尊重神的人所得到的祝福并不是就大的...

身在自己所选择的道路中,频频面对的都是悲伤,忧虑,困扰,空虚,失望,无助,胆怯....但,当初我选择追随神的道路,我就不再是现今如此的我...我后悔了,很后悔....时间能否返回呢?神啊...

现在的我很想逃离自己所选择的道路,但我已身不由己了....

又或则我该卸下身上的一切,往自己的理想之路而去呢?

我已丧失那从祢而来最美好的祝福....

Kinder joy

Kinder joy with SURPRISE!!^^

Mum bought it to me tonight for this!haa...i still like a kid,heee~

I wish to have this since before,love its chocolate and the surprise inside!Not just of this,i love the egg shape of it,a fat rounded shape,so cute..=) Erm..it will be my EASTER day's egg too!

Thanks mummy~~^-^

     my easter's egg                                             

     full of the creamy milk chocolate,nice~

     plus with a surprise too--toy!      cute robot^^

    nice nice nice~heee      3 in 1--chocolate,toy and LOVE!!