I think i already reached the bottom of my limit to 'tahan'...So miserable for me now,one thing can make me happy in my life is quit from my current job!It is really been stressed for me in this work field,no matter how strong and eagerness for me to learn the new thing here but it all can't overcoming my limitation to hanging on anymore,i have make up my mind,i want to resign...i want to free myself,learning is good but seem i can't live my life with happiness then what the point for me to insist on?In addition,the more i stay here the more i feel i myself so unvaluable and more low self esteem,all the confident have gone...is this all i want from the purpose at first i came here?NO!
So contradict,before when be teacher i went to go crazy for unfruitful life there,but now that kind of life make me miss much and envy much!no stress and can go have fun anytime!no need to worry my expenses as well...
Wonder whether my family will support my decision?But i really want to resign...
Life is so shorter,how come i wanna torturing and forcing myself live under such life which i don't like it!Why?Thought learning is good but why under this kind of environment?yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
==:
Staying in other's house is very 'xin ku',if let me to choose i rather to stay wf my fren instead of with my family members.
Maybe my lifestyle is different with you caused you unhappy,but if i got the choice i will not come to here,honestly to say..one thing is i really troubled you all already,sorry about it..
Everything stress me up,from staying place,home people,working place,colleagues,boss,figure,custormer...everything coming together,how to continue on the life?
Maybe my lifestyle is different with you caused you unhappy,but if i got the choice i will not come to here,honestly to say..one thing is i really troubled you all already,sorry about it..
Everything stress me up,from staying place,home people,working place,colleagues,boss,figure,custormer...everything coming together,how to continue on the life?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Late yet luckier
It is sad to say,now only i realised i am too late to step into this so called 'real' society to explore..
Throughout this two weeks training,i get to see a lot of my fellow colleagues whose same age with me are pretty mature and experienced enough in knowlegde,spiritual,personalise and what i can say is almost in every areas.Honestly it was a shame for me for still being ignorant=( Their mature and steady skills in selling,presentation was enough to terrify me with this wonderful plus perfect handling methods!Gosh,I am totally under compared with them.
I am so small among them,obviously can see through.Whereby 1 thing i can comforting myself is luckily i still get chance to walk in and joining in the midst of it..
Throughout this two weeks training,i get to see a lot of my fellow colleagues whose same age with me are pretty mature and experienced enough in knowlegde,spiritual,personalise and what i can say is almost in every areas.Honestly it was a shame for me for still being ignorant=( Their mature and steady skills in selling,presentation was enough to terrify me with this wonderful plus perfect handling methods!Gosh,I am totally under compared with them.
I am so small among them,obviously can see through.Whereby 1 thing i can comforting myself is luckily i still get chance to walk in and joining in the midst of it..
Friday, June 25, 2010
end of the 3rd week in kl
First day staying in my cousin's house...so weird feeling here
The time i finish exam in office,i should be happy one as stress has been released.Yet,i am not as excited as i think. Tear kept dropping down in the moment i sat in the car because i felt 'homeless' indeed. How much i wish can back to bro's house but once i know it is inconvenience for them,then i have no choice.I sobbing while driving as i really don't know where i should heading to...Hence i delayed the time to back cousin's house and just find somewhere else i can go to although i pretty tired..Eventually i manage to arrive cousin's house by nine something.
Working outside alone here is pressuring, it totally out of my estimation. A lot of uneasy feeling you will experience here,it sure very hurt but you can't be beaten down as well,so hanging on and persistence is the only choice you can make. Frankly say i couldn't remember how many days in here i use to cry before i fall asleep. Sadness keep grabbing my heart,while i think of my situation and what had i face on,again,my tear will never ended.But in my mind i only know for one word is 'hanging on'..I told myself so.
People is the crucial key for me whether feel comfortable and vice verse. Although i have closer blood brother here yet i am unwelcome and unconcerned by them. Everyone are busy with their own 'business',you are you then i am i,pretty sad with this..
Anyhow,God is my good friend,i told him everything when i weeping in my blanket every night,he is my good listener.Thanks for my dear and mum,at least i still can sense the caring which i pretty needed much at this moment,it give me loads of comfort..Due to it,i will be strong no matter how difficult i will facing onwards.
The time i finish exam in office,i should be happy one as stress has been released.Yet,i am not as excited as i think. Tear kept dropping down in the moment i sat in the car because i felt 'homeless' indeed. How much i wish can back to bro's house but once i know it is inconvenience for them,then i have no choice.I sobbing while driving as i really don't know where i should heading to...Hence i delayed the time to back cousin's house and just find somewhere else i can go to although i pretty tired..Eventually i manage to arrive cousin's house by nine something.
Working outside alone here is pressuring, it totally out of my estimation. A lot of uneasy feeling you will experience here,it sure very hurt but you can't be beaten down as well,so hanging on and persistence is the only choice you can make. Frankly say i couldn't remember how many days in here i use to cry before i fall asleep. Sadness keep grabbing my heart,while i think of my situation and what had i face on,again,my tear will never ended.But in my mind i only know for one word is 'hanging on'..I told myself so.
People is the crucial key for me whether feel comfortable and vice verse. Although i have closer blood brother here yet i am unwelcome and unconcerned by them. Everyone are busy with their own 'business',you are you then i am i,pretty sad with this..
Anyhow,God is my good friend,i told him everything when i weeping in my blanket every night,he is my good listener.Thanks for my dear and mum,at least i still can sense the caring which i pretty needed much at this moment,it give me loads of comfort..Due to it,i will be strong no matter how difficult i will facing onwards.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
training day=(
Today went through whole full day training,more in talking skill and sale technic.We learn about the way in promoting the housing loan and saving plan inssurance,and we do more in role play.
Sad to be say i din't did well in my role play,nearly want to give up already...how much i wish i can get back to my hometown now.
It is not easy to survive in banking life,as they say once u want to be here,you need to be more aggressive!Yet,i don't think i can be like this,that's why i found myself in suffering now.
Some more there have not enough space for me to be independent,how could i be learn more and fast?don't even say to have cross sale!
I done everything poor here,i have not confidence at all,want to give up!
Sad to be say i din't did well in my role play,nearly want to give up already...how much i wish i can get back to my hometown now.
It is not easy to survive in banking life,as they say once u want to be here,you need to be more aggressive!Yet,i don't think i can be like this,that's why i found myself in suffering now.
Some more there have not enough space for me to be independent,how could i be learn more and fast?don't even say to have cross sale!
I done everything poor here,i have not confidence at all,want to give up!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Sat night..
Seem long haven't get to write something here due to my busy time....awww..
Having my new job for one week already,it is the tough job for me as i never involved in any banking or financial field.Everything i need start learn from the very first level.Sometimes i will ask my senior about some so call stupid question until they find it very funny or showing their inpatient,yet i still get my thicker face to keep asking and asking...Well,all i can say is it really very tough for me.
I and another colleague join in the same time,but i am the one who left behind,i keep chasing and chasing,meditating all the term and details by searching net in night time,some more i still left behind.In additions,the opportunities is the other channel for me to learn fast somehow i am the unluckier.When the head coming and asking what we learn in the end of the day,stress coming as well as the others really learn a lot under the comparing with me.What should i react at that moment is to be steady although i pretty worry.
According to the knowledges,learning effectiveness,chances,i am the one who left behind...stress stress!
Although everything seem not going smoothly for me,look in the other views i quite satisfied with my fruitful days,tough but i did learn something.When get the different treating from other towards me,it did very hurt but i still hanging on as i know i will get success one day.I hate people looking down on me actually...Just want to let those people know,don't ever looked down on me!i will learn from the basic..I have a BIG God with me too!
Everytime i get hurt and pressure,i will cry out as long as i want,then wipe it off,everything will turn fine then.Life should be like this,never beating down by the problems or hardwork,instead of overcome it by succeed it,then you will be more strong and higher up.
I wish to be a successful woman although i know my personality couldn't qualified for it,hence most of the time i feel like 'xin you yu er li bu zu'.What will be my future,i can't figure it out and see from now,but believe if i persisting and persevere onwards,surely the goal of mine will left no far.
Lastly,sorry dear for i am far with u now and keep focusing in my hard work now.Don't know what i should say also..sorry when the time u talk with me actually i am tired beat so i show no mood to continue on,sorry for i used to have comparison with others as well..
pls: Knowing my fren in cameran highland having the starbuck 'greentea coffee",i am SUPER envy!!!have a little bit complaint flashing in my mind for why i still doing the torturing work here..
Make a cup of blended milo drink,it tastes nice=)
Having my new job for one week already,it is the tough job for me as i never involved in any banking or financial field.Everything i need start learn from the very first level.Sometimes i will ask my senior about some so call stupid question until they find it very funny or showing their inpatient,yet i still get my thicker face to keep asking and asking...Well,all i can say is it really very tough for me.
I and another colleague join in the same time,but i am the one who left behind,i keep chasing and chasing,meditating all the term and details by searching net in night time,some more i still left behind.In additions,the opportunities is the other channel for me to learn fast somehow i am the unluckier.When the head coming and asking what we learn in the end of the day,stress coming as well as the others really learn a lot under the comparing with me.What should i react at that moment is to be steady although i pretty worry.
According to the knowledges,learning effectiveness,chances,i am the one who left behind...stress stress!
Although everything seem not going smoothly for me,look in the other views i quite satisfied with my fruitful days,tough but i did learn something.When get the different treating from other towards me,it did very hurt but i still hanging on as i know i will get success one day.I hate people looking down on me actually...Just want to let those people know,don't ever looked down on me!i will learn from the basic..I have a BIG God with me too!
Everytime i get hurt and pressure,i will cry out as long as i want,then wipe it off,everything will turn fine then.Life should be like this,never beating down by the problems or hardwork,instead of overcome it by succeed it,then you will be more strong and higher up.
I wish to be a successful woman although i know my personality couldn't qualified for it,hence most of the time i feel like 'xin you yu er li bu zu'.What will be my future,i can't figure it out and see from now,but believe if i persisting and persevere onwards,surely the goal of mine will left no far.
Lastly,sorry dear for i am far with u now and keep focusing in my hard work now.Don't know what i should say also..sorry when the time u talk with me actually i am tired beat so i show no mood to continue on,sorry for i used to have comparison with others as well..
pls: Knowing my fren in cameran highland having the starbuck 'greentea coffee",i am SUPER envy!!!have a little bit complaint flashing in my mind for why i still doing the torturing work here..
Make a cup of blended milo drink,it tastes nice=)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
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